Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
Randomize
