I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
she smelled like a LAN party
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
Randomize
