I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
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