k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Randomize
