So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
Randomize