Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
He felt like a one man threesome
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
You took a bar mat shot.
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
Randomize
