Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
I FOUND THE LEGS
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
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