I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
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