You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
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