Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
Life is so much better after having sex.
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
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