I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
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I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
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See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
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