we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
Randomize