dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
