Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
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