Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
Randomize
