Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Randomize
