New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
Randomize
