You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
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