and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
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