No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
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