Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
She needs sedatives and a leash
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
Randomize
