She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
Randomize
