I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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