id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
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