and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
Randomize
