Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize
