just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
Randomize
