we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Randomize
