okay pat passed out under dana's car
Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
Randomize
