Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
Randomize
