I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
Will exercising make me less horny?
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
