My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
why do cheetos always look like penises
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
Randomize
