you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
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