When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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