guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
Randomize
