My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
Randomize
