Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
Randomize
