Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Randomize
