So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
He passed out mid-signature
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Randomize
