is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
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