I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
Who put my cat in the fridge?
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
