I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize
