You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
