So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
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