We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
