This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
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