I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
Randomize
