She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
this hospital has no fireball
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
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