the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
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