Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Randomize
