Welp...herpes.
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
Randomize
