So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
