I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
These tits shall not be calmed
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
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