he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
Randomize
