How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
