If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
Redeem this text for a blowjob
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
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