2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
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