Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
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