Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
sex in a hospital.. check
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
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