There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
We had to coat check the pizza.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
Randomize
