Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
This is my gift to your gina
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
Randomize